- Xena: A BEAUTY CONTEST?
- Salmoneus: PAGEANT! It's called a PAGEANT!
- Gabrielle: Contest, pageant—it's just a feeble excuse for men to exploit and degrade women.
- Salmoneus: Wrong as usual, miss sunshine! Since when do we ever need an excuse?!
- ***THIS SHOW DOES NOT FUCK AROUND***
- SHOTS FIRED
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